Hey Conrad! Thanks SO MUCH for calling the cops on my girlfriend last night! I know she outweighs you by about 20 pounds (not calling her fat, calling you pitifully skinny) but that was SERIOUSLY the only way you know how to handle a drunk customer? In a bar?? It never occurred to you to call your friend ie me who was there earlier, and could come back and get her if it saved him the bail money of BUSTING HER OUT OF JAIL. What the hell!

Messed up. Maybe I'll take my business to Lau's. Also why do you have so many pinche guys at your bar??


( text to Lydia )
( text to Lydia )
( text to Lydia )
( text to Lydia )
( text to Lydia )

Fuck all you guys, I'm fucking glad to get the hell out of here.

Fuck you for the swirlies, for shutting me in lockers, for every fucking humiliation I have fucking suffered here.

I won't miss fucking any of you.

There's been some inquiries of late regarding hospitals and the local doctors and such. I understand that not many of you are exactly trusting of the doctors that run the hospital we're all shuffled through upon entry, so I just want to remind everyone that there is an alternative. We at Baker Street Surgery are confidental and discreet. Please be safe with your summer adventures and know that if you do get injured or sick that we can be trusted. Just note that if you require help outside of clinic hours, that there may be an additional fee.

Thank you,

Dr. John Watson, Baker Street Surgery

( text to Lin )

I can't smell anything.

What if I wanted to make this change permanent? It's nice not smelling all the blood everywhere.

[ The video opens to Conrad clutching his side, and wincing as his arm moves from the record button. It's a webcam post.

He's got a split lip, a black eye, and swollen jaw. He's lisping a little as he speaks. You watch his mouth a little more closely... Is his fang broken in half? ]

I'd like to apologize to Principal Dinkerton and all the kids for not showing up for my chaperoning duties. However, I have, um, encountered some difficulties moving around since Friday night, so, um. I couldn't make it. Too much, uh... working out at the gym.

[ This is obviously a lie. You can tell because Conrad Achenleck is a terrible liar. ]

I also wanted to ask everyone, though, um, has anyone seen Lau? Ran Mao says he has gone missing.

[ With that, Conrad reaches to hit the stop recording button, gasping as he moves his arm, and clutching his side tighter. The video ends.

OOC NOTE: Ran Mao also thinks Conrad kidnapped Lau, hence the shape Conrad is in at the moment. He'll be replying with videos, as he's pretty sure some of his fingers are broken... ]

I found stuff & wondered was it from anybody cos dante doesn't spell & read..?

In the dark depths of the Soul
Resides a Man I no longer know
A Man who once knew how to love
A Man who once knew Friendship
Excitement
Happiness
Fulfillment
A Man I no longer know

The blood
Everywhere
The blood
Calls
The blood
Thrives
The blood
Cries
The blood
The blood
The blood

I woke up one day in a world
Full of adventure and wonder
A world I hated and despised
A world that had no place for me
A world like any other except
Friendship I could not realize
Was the best thing to happen to me
A friendship lost and gone away
A friendship and people far away
A world that abandoned me

Man
Monster
WORDS without meaning
WORDS used to define
WORDS that contain me
WORDS that control me
They keep me in line
WORDS used to define

She wandered into my life
During a time of strife
She wandered into my heart
During the worst part
She wandered away
When I needed her that day
She wandered in again
When I'd forgotten the pain
She wandered afar
And it was so far
And it was so far
She wandered where I couldn't reach
If only I could drink bleach

cos if he did i might think it's cos the cool guy is gone but he isn't that lame??

& he wasn't a girl

I wanted to say thanks. For the party. Really. I don't know how anyone found out it was my birthday yesterday, but uh I mean. It's nice to be fucking remembered sometimes.

All in all, a nice time. It was kinda scary, having the surprise party at fucking Lau's little shop of horrors, but I mean if you're trying to surprise me, it really fucking worked ha ha ha, I'm pretty sure everyone got a kick out of my fucking terrified face while I was led into the dark depths of his shop. But yeah. Thanks for not inviting the entire world, Jesse (I'm guessing you organized it, not sure who else fucking cares enough) because you know I don't like being surrounded by strangers. So like. I mean.

Lau, thanks for the watch. Sorry I thought it was poisoned or a murder device.
Nathan, I appreciate your promise to not destroy things, despite the... crumpled paper it was written on, it felt like a very nice heartfelt pledge.
Ramona, thanks for coming.
Jesse, well. Uh. You really didn't. Need to get me all that. But like. Thanks. We can like, watch movies sometimes. Or something. I've never had a fucking media room before so like, shit man, thanks.



Anyway, tonight I'm raising a glass of O+ to another fucking year on my way to fucking eternity. Fucking Hooray.

shit.

Lau. What the fuck are you doing over there.

Fucking hell. Not this again.

Starting now until whenever the water turns back into water again, if you order water I am charging you for the fucking price of beer this time. BECAUSE THAT'S APPARENTLY WHAT I'M FUCKING GIVING YOU

It's nice being the only bar in town again.

I really think the words what, the and hell are all in order right now.

So,, without further interruptions.

What the hell?

Don't get me wrong, I was a little bit what the hell about a lot of things is my life lately but this? This takes the cake, ice cream, party balloons and all the presents to boot.

I'm...going to go find alcohol. That seems to be the appropriate answer here.

Okay but fucking hell, my "date" with Lau was better than being trapped in a room with fucking Alois gloating around me.

Thank God Jesse's here?

I cannot believe I'm wasting precious moments as a human here.

This is boring.

There should be more hostages.

So, just outta curiosity, how hard is it to start a new business here?

OK, it ain't just curiosity, I been thinking since I been here a year, I might as well settle down and make a go at having my own mechanic shop. I get enough requests just being self-employed that I think I could make a whole business out of it, and it'd make my job a whole lot easier having lots of parts and a space to work in and all.

I'm sorry.

Oi, New Moore.

Let's play a game!

SHAG/MARRY/CLIFF
or
FUCK/MARRY/KILL
whichever you prefer, really.

You answer completely honestly and then leave your own triad and everyone else answers you and we fuck ourselves over for the conceivable rest of eternity.

Look, I'll even make the first one easy: Ramona, Shepard and that shifty forest bint, Aisling.

[Creedy gives the camera a crooked grin, patting his hand almost affectionately on the keg beside him.]

Conrad, No offense on ya, mate. Your alcohol is well and fine for a tame man's tastes, but this here beauty is damn near impossible to beat. I think I'll be callin' it Northumberland Dragonsbreath. Finest... well... don't rightly have a  type of alcohol to call it, but it'll certainly put a dimmer on anythin' you've 'ad before it. Me 'n Quinn 'ave been drinking my special black lable for years and we're still standin'. Well. He is. I'm still not so sure about the whole livin thing.

Well. It could use another week, but here's to you, New Moore. Wherever the fuck this is and whoever is responsible for it. Appreciate the not bein' dead bit.

[He taps out a fifth a glass and takes a gulp. To his credit, the grimace is only barely visible a second when it burns the whole way down and he manages to hold his cough, even if it sounds in the slight rasp his voice takes on.]

Doesn' get better than this.

[Do not take his word for it. Seriously. For your own safety. In the functioning world this deadly spirit is called Pruno or prison wine. It's made of moldy fruit and ketchup and distilled to near 160% proof in a manner of days. Two weeks to prime. It will burn you the whole way down and sink in hard and fast. But if you're clever and tip it back fast enough to keep it from touching your throat too much, or your tongue, you might avoid the taste and the fire that follows it.]

Now all I need is a steel barrel.

[And another five or so days to age it. But who's counting, really?]