You know what? I don’t care what they say. I know for a fact I’m a real person. I have to be; how can someone as fucking awesome as me not be? It defies all logical explanation. I bet all the scientists would be just as outraged. Even the Chancellor would be.
Because I’m real. I always was.
I’m Prussia.
I’m the reason Germany even exists today.
Hell, I have apothecaries and shopping malls named after me.
That’s how great I am.
I’m calling this entire island out on its shit because this is all complete Scheiß.

Who: Banner, his Shadow, and Souji's team
What: the rescue
Where: Shadow Culver University
When: the Dark Hour

( Read more... )

[Aren't you all lucky! You're being treated to an amazing view of the incredibly handsome - and equally talented - young Sirius Black as he beams for the camera, tosses his silky hair and makes his announcement. No, he's not under the influence of any event, he just really pretty much is a sparkling magical girl. Always.]

Hello, boys and girls!

Yours truly, Sirius Black, and my highly esteemed partner in crime, Mssr. Moony, perhaps known to some of you as Remus and to others as that astonishingly old bloke, have decided to open up a magic shop!

This past few days have shown that some of you are pretty fai... I mean, magically gifted. And pretty fairies. I'm not judging, just observing. Anyway, I just so happen to be - to put it modestly - one of the most promising young wizards of my time and since I'm no longer in prison, I might as well share that gift.

We still have to set up shop and figure out what services and items we can provide, but until then, please approach us with any and all magical wishes and needs, concerns and desire to partake in potentially dangerous experiments.


[This part is supposed to be private, but he fails.]

So. Moony, we're opening up a magic shop.

Not the first time I've woken up in a dress, but definitely the first time I've been able to fly.

Johanna, Katniss, are you ready to save the city of New Mooresville?

[ It's a woman in a styilized sort of domino mask, a pair of what looks to be cat ears on top of her head, bright red lips curved into a crooked smile.

She's sitting in the rafters somewhere, a gilded chain with an impossibly large diamond hanging off the end of it threaded through her fingers, and she's got it raised up, examining it. ] Pity it'll be hard to fence stuff here. How's a girl gonna eat if she can't make any money? And making it so easy for me, too. [ A small tsk. ] It's almost like you're teasing me. [ She pouts, and then her head quickly turns to glance off screen, and she grins, standing up and stuffing the necklace into a bag. There's shouting, and a scream. ] Time to go. Good night, New Moore.

I got a question. If parents



Or, uh. Santa. If Santa's not around, who gets presents for all the kids?